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There is no escape

There is no escape

Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:11 by Ananth in response to the johnisms continue

Hey guys and gals! John is full of johnisms, and we endeavour to share as many of them as we can with you. 

Hee hee

Let me just say, thank you all for sharing your pet stories! It's going to take me a day or two to catch up on all of them, but we think it's really cool that you guys all took so much time on your stories. Stories, we like 'em. 

The newest original in the store is the sleepy kraken! Ugh, it's so adorable. Click here or below to hit the store: 

The eBay auction will go up tomorrow, in a separate post! Proceeds from the next one go to the Red Cross for Haiti. 

Have a wonderful weekend!



Comment by Joe D. (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:27

Bet the rest of THAT car ride was awkward.

I love Johnisms! The first

Comment by Nerf Warrior (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:33

I love Johnisms! The first panel of Johnny Wander I read was a John one, and I thought "YES. I am home."


Comment by King_Bahamut (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:44

Geeze John is one intense man! I can at least agree with his statement though, wow, I am having really dark thoughts now.

And the winner of the "most

Comment by Jukebox (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:46

And the winner of the "most awkward thing for the person driving the car to say" is...

And the runners up are...

Comment by Joe (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 00:09

"By the way, my permit test is tomorrow."
"Hey, which one is the brake?"
"How many points do you think that toddler is worth?"
"I think I see a Blue Shell coming up behind us."
"Don't worry, we only have sex in the back seat."
"I wonder if we can do that scene from Dukes of Hazzard..."

Ahaha. I love John's

Comment by Lotus (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 19:54

Ahaha. I love John's expression and how he is always too tall for his car.

=) Johnisms are the best.


Comment by Lin (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 20:09

YOU SHOULD MAKE A JOHN-ISMS T-SHIRT. With... like, a little John on the bottom and a bunch of speechbubbles filled with his little... isms. Yes. Very very yes.

A little John at the bottom?

Comment by Bryce (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:50

A little John at the bottom? That kills like, half his character!

The solution is simple

Comment by Matt B (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 22:49

Then make a John too big for the little space in the bottom!

Yeeeeeeees. This shirt would

Comment by Becky (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 22:57

Yeeeeeeees. This shirt would make me so happy. Especially if John's crammed in an itty bitty space, and Johnisms everywhere.

The wisdom is palpable. . .

Comment by Javer (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 20:24

The wisdom is palpable.

. . . Geez, his poor neck.

I think I would have gotten

Comment by Joe (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 20:58

I think I would have gotten out of the car.
"I'm not afraid of death, either. I just afraid that you might try to find out what it takes to get there."

That...that's...not really

Comment by FuriousSterling (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:38

That...that's...not really something I want to hear from someone when their driving. Kind of makes me think of that scene in Annie Hall with Christopher Walken and Woody Allen driving somewhere at night.

I'd really buy one of those

Comment by LiT and C-G.M (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:58

I'd really buy one of those Johnisms Shirt, as was suggested above :D

John is really way too intense; but that's what makes him so awesome! (Reminds me about the football thing; ''if the winning team was allowed to live'')
We need more john-isms ! :D
It'd make awesome t-shirts for the cynical people ^^

Me and my boyfriend say hi, we don't comment much, but we're big-time fans of this comic ; we check them weekly and he's always asking me if Johnny Wander has updated yet xD
Bonjour! from Québec, Canada :)

You stole my Daniel-ism!

Comment by Daniel (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 22:00

I'm thankful that I'm not the only one who thinks that way. I've always said that fear in death is misplaced, that death I necessary for life, for without death what is life? What is its value. It is the loss of life that defines its value.
Personally, I know I'm gunna die. Its a comforting constant in some respects. Getting there I fear immensely though. But life they say is facing your fears as though you didn't have them.

the memories

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 22:45

it reminds me of when I told my buddy I was afraid of heights, he just said I'm not afraid of heights but rather the sudden stop at the end

They say it's not the fall

Comment by Joe (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 00:28

They say it's not the fall that kills ya.


Comment by Joe Fox (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 23:04

What remains unseen is the awesome ramp-jump that John is about to embark upon.


Comment by AmandaK (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 23:05

I like the way your friend's brain works :op

That might be the most

Comment by Robert V Aldrich (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 23:25

That might be the most worrisome thing a driver could say. That, or 'hey, watch this'.

Is it just me, or does

Comment by Sail (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 23:36

Is it just me, or does Conrad's hair have a little pair of eyes on it?


Comment by Michael M (not verified) Thu, 01/21/2010 - 23:52



He's always been so friendly when I've seen him!

I'm constantly watching my

Comment by John Kelly (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 08:29

I'm constantly watching my life like a movie in my head and it occurs to me that sometimes the funniest parts are when everyone else is terrified.

Its great that the toning on

Comment by Joe (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 01:22

Its great that the toning on the car can double as a tangible cloud of fear and sadness~!!

That John guy...

Comment by Samm Neiland (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 04:19

So do johnisms just seem to pop up most often when he's driving? Like... for some odd reason it unlocks this space in John's mind where all Chaos and Demonic origin lie?

What in the world lies inside John's mind? What sort of unbelievable horrors reside in there? Is he even human at all? The thought alone scares me to death as when I see those eyes of his which is almost like looking into the eyes of origin itself; A place where all light and darkness exist at once. Man was not meant to behold such a sight...

So yeah, funny comic. That John guy cracks me up :P


Comment by Softspoken (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 04:28

That kraken wants a hug. Which is profoundly dangerous.


Comment by Jan (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 04:54

This one is genius! Now that's something you don't want to hear coming from a person driving a car. :DD

Ech, thank you for JW! It fixes my mood twice a week.

Whenever you guys do a

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 08:40

Whenever you guys do a Johnism I always imagine him with mirrored sunglasses in the last panel and go YEAAAAAAAAH! It's fun, you should try it.


Comment by Drezz (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 08:51

I think everyone has a friend or an acquaintance that is a 'John.'

As soon as I read the first panel, it reminded me of a guy I knew in high school. Same build - too tall for his car (he actually retrofitted a bucket seat from a Camaro into his car so he was lower and could see at a normal height...)

He also spouted some angry stuff at the oddest times. He was very quiet, but I think he just couldn't stand awkward silences - so he'd feel compelled to fill the gap when there was a lull in a conversation. I think he didn't say much and relied on everyone else to yammer on about stuff. I think that's why he liked having my company, because I'm a motor mouth.

Anyway - the comment John says in this strip made me crease myself from laughing. That hit a funny memory, that's for sure.

Good job. :)

Safety first!

Comment by Anna (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 11:07

Hooray for everyone wearing a seatbelt!

Awesome comic.

Comment by Jared (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 11:30

Awesome comic. Alternatively, John could be doing what I like doing to all my friends and just saying stuff to make everyone feel awkward. Need to remember that line the next time we are on a road trip.
Also, are you guys going to be at Katsucon in Feb?


Comment by Anari (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 11:35

There is a grocery store near where I live when I'm not at school; in one of the ladies' bathroom stalls someone keyed the wall to say "THE KRAKEN" over all the other writings. I'm pretty sure the lady who walked in after I left thought I was nuts.


Comment by MeisterJ (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 11:35

I kind of missed these, and was stupidly happy when I read this. His declarations are too much fun, but his expression when he makes this make them that much better. It's like a sanity override type of expression

I love when you guys have

Comment by Brilliant (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:17

I love when you guys have John, it makes me laugh because he's just like me. I actually said "I'm not afraid of dieing, I'm afraid of what it takes to get there" a couple of days ago. You guys have an awesome comic, keep up the good work.


Comment by Andyman (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:54

If your John-ism comics are going to be as few and far between as they have been, then could you perhaps post a list of them on the site?


Comment by CameoAppearance (not verified) Sat, 01/23/2010 - 20:51


Thank you, sir! :D

Comment by Diem-fish (not verified) Mon, 01/25/2010 - 04:52

Thank you, sir! :D


Comment by Kevin (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 17:11

I love the expressions on poor Ananth and Conrad in the last panel. It's like they just realized that they made an unholy pact from which there is no escape.

Get out of the car GET OUT

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 17:26


I can imagine everyone else in the car slowly shrinking away from the driver's seat lol

I can still see the eyes on

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 21:59

I can still see the eyes on conrad's hair-ferrit...


Comment by Richard (not verified) Fri, 01/22/2010 - 23:31

The first thing that popped into my head reading this was that joke about "I want to go like my grandfather, quietly in my sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car"

An interesting observation.

Comment by Stephen (not verified) Sat, 01/23/2010 - 05:34

Why is it John has all of his epiphanies in the car?

The fact that he's driving makes this all the more troubling.

Yes! I'm eager to hear more

Comment by MineTruly (not verified) Sun, 01/24/2010 - 17:33

Yes! I'm eager to hear more johnisms! Pile 'em on!


Comment by Zombie (not verified) Mon, 01/25/2010 - 06:26

These 'Johnisms' remind me alot of a mix between Insanity Wolf and Courage Wolf...

...That's just me, though. XD

I don't know if it will do

Comment by Tawny (not verified) Tue, 01/26/2010 - 01:28

I don't know if it will do any good, but I am unspeakably sad at the discontinuation of the Zoolology shirt. I asked for it from literally everyone who asked what I wanted for Christmas, but it did not happen, so I scrounged funds to buy it myself... and it is gone! So I am putting in a worthless internet vote for a reprint!

We'll certainly reprint it

Comment by Ananth Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:09

We'll certainly reprint it at some point in the future! No worries. :)

Yaaaaaaaaay! I adore you

Comment by Tawny (not verified) Wed, 01/27/2010 - 01:23

Yaaaaaaaaay! I adore you guys.

if you switch back and forth

Comment by Megan (not verified) Tue, 01/26/2010 - 02:28

if you switch back and forth between the store and the main site, you get this cool effect of the maw grin appearing and disappearing from the background crows' chests.

yeah i have no life.

Hahaha no way I'm doing it

Comment by Ananth Tue, 01/26/2010 - 11:09

Hahaha no way I'm doing it now it's totally awesome


Comment by zonneschijn (not verified) Fri, 09/24/2010 - 12:02

Hi guys I am rereading the comic! Inspired to do so by WarRock's particularly endearing post attached to the new song. :3

ANYWAY the question that popped up in my head as I read this was: Why doesn't Ananth ride in the back with Yuko?