Skip to Content

A Very Garies Christmas

A Very Garies Christmas

Thu, 10/28/2010 - 21:41 by Ananth in response to garies proverbs

So we try to keep these Garies comics to a minimum because they are maybe a little too inside jokey, not to mention vague, weird, and creepy - but it's Halloween and that suits the holiday just fine. Today is Garies Proverbs - there will possibly be one more Garies comic on Tuesday, but that may change. 

We may or may not be at a certain event in DC this coming Saturday. 

George is visiting us for a little while! You'll remember him from some past comics. He got to NYC and he's already got a quest. 

There are a few Beach Sets left in the store, and then they're gone forever! 

Everyone - have a rad Halloween! 



Comment by FoxSpirit (not verified) Sat, 10/30/2010 - 04:54

First off, long time fan from Austria. I just love your stories, so heartwarming. And Gonta... hahaha.

Now, about this Mr. Garies. I have never met this elusive gentleman nor does he want his existence achknowledged by Mr. google. So I'm at a loss. Help >.<

Best wishes to all, looking forward to the next one :-)


Comment by William A. Righetti (not verified) Sat, 10/30/2010 - 10:14

Honestly, I have no idea where this Garies fellow came from aside from his debut a few comics back, but this one was hilarious. I think you folks may have created a new meme by accident or something. Anyway, I had a good chuckle over this one for about five minutes. Fantastic, and creepy, especially those hilarious eye close ups in the last comic and below it in the news section.

Oh and since folks are adding their own quotes to the party; "Too many cooks spoil the Garies." :-p

"Kill two birds with one

Comment by Fady (not verified) Sat, 10/30/2010 - 11:42

"Kill two birds with one Garie"

How did that seem so sinister

Can't get enough Garies.

Comment by Barny Boo (not verified) Sat, 10/30/2010 - 17:52

We want the Garies. Aww... Gotta have that Garies.

Caught in a bad Garies.

I Kissed a Garies and I liked It.


Comment by Nate (not verified) Sat, 10/30/2010 - 22:20

Unless Garies is a specific reference or product of/from something, I wonder if perhaps it was a custom uniform for some short-lived shop or storefront? Seems very backwoods icecream stand to me, based on the photo.

Garies is a virtue

Comment by Tsu (not verified) Sun, 10/31/2010 - 01:09

A friend's frown is better than a Garies' smile.
All's fair in love and Garies.
Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have Garies at all.
A man is known by the Garies he keeps.
Garies can be deceiving.
Garies is thicker than water.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto Garies.
I am rubber and you are glue. Your words bounce off me and stick to Garies.
Laugh and Garies laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be Garies.
Garies comes to those who wait.
Brevity is the soul of Garies.
Familiarity breeds Garies.
He who laughs last thinks Garies.
Hope for the best and prepare for Garies.
The best things in life are Garies.
While there's life, there's Garies.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Garies will never hurt me.
Looking for Garies in a haystack.
If anything can go wrong, Garies will.

You can't make a silk purse out of a Garies

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Mon, 11/01/2010 - 20:26

A picture is worth a thousand Garies
Calm before the Garies
Garies wasn't built in a day
Don't judge a book by its Garies
Two wrongs don't make a Garies
Put your best Garies forward
One man's trash is another man's Garies
The Garies is mightier than the sword
A watched Garies never boils

oh god these are so good

Comment by supersamurai (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 18:15

oh god these are so good XD

Is Garies willing to prevent Garies, but not able?
Then he is not Garies.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is Garies.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh Garies?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him Garies?

Can we see a picture of IRL

Comment by SnakeWaffle (not verified) Sun, 10/31/2010 - 05:54

Can we see a picture of IRL Garie?


Comment by Skrattybones (not verified) Sun, 10/31/2010 - 22:57

"Glengaries Glenn Ross".

Trout Fishing in America

Comment by Razor (not verified) Mon, 11/01/2010 - 11:41

from 'The Mayonnaise Chapter.'

Look it up. I think we've got another "TFIA" going on here. No one knows what it means or where it came from, but it becomes something that everyone knows about.

(thanks to my 11th grade English teacher for that one) =)

A thousand mile Garies...

Comment by MuchLove (not verified) Mon, 11/01/2010 - 18:22

...begins with a single Garies.

I honestly had forgotten about Garies. How selfish of me.

Oh God

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Mon, 11/01/2010 - 19:35

It won't stop looking at me. Those eyes.

What is a Garies?

Comment by M3rcd (not verified) Mon, 11/01/2010 - 23:04


Double Garies.... what does it mean???

Comment by Brad S (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 11:35

According to google and wikipedia, Garies is a small agricultural center in south africa and google images just shows a bunch of pictures of dirt and rocks. Maybe we aren't supposed to know what Garies is. Knowing may just ruin the mystique!

I still want to know. >>

Early to bed, early to Garies.
The early bird catches the Garies.
A rolling stone gathers no Garies.
Idle hands are the Garies plaything.
Home is where the Garies is.
Keep a stiff upper Garies.
Let he who is without sin cast the first Garies.
To err is human, to forgive is Garies.

P.S. please don't stop Garies.

The only thing we have to Garies

Comment by Cuppkins (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 13:03

The only thing we have to Garies is Garies itself.
A Garies divided against itself cannot stand.
Garies are what fools use for reason.
Judge a man by his Garies rather than by his Garies.
Every man is guilty of all the Garies he didn't do.
I disapprove of your Garies, but I will defend to the Garies your right to Garies.
Everything is Garies today, that is our illusion.
No Garies in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

Garies, the Destroyers of All Humanity

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 17:00

I have see the fifth horseman of the apocalypse, it is Garies!

I am now and forever dead inside.... or until the next comic.


Comment by Yume (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 20:33

So, I looked at this at work and had to hold in the urge to laugh hysterically... I don't know why, but good old Garies makes me laugh so hard. I think it's the creepy, souless stare?

Sell this shirt to us.

Comment by Crowbar (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 21:56

I COMMAND YOU. Shirt or death.

Hahahahahaha! I agree!

Comment by Jess (not verified) Tue, 11/02/2010 - 22:26

Hahahahahaha! I agree!

Ahhhh. We did this

Comment by Clause (not verified) Thu, 11/11/2010 - 14:56

Ahhhh. We did this fill-in-the-blank assignment at school today, and I couldn't help but fill all of the blanks in with "GARIES" in my head. It was extremely difficult as well as hilarious...

"Energy released by the exergonic 'burning' of glucose in cellular respiration is used to make a substance called GARIES."


Nightmarish, yes.

Comment by adnamae (not verified) Tue, 11/30/2010 - 13:59

I actually had a dream that was entirely Garies.

On Proverbs (And Other Ridiculous Things)

Comment by Eljacko (not verified) Wed, 12/01/2010 - 17:16

If I remember correctly, there was a comic on Questionable Content about replacing random words in a proverb with "lion". For example: Don't count your lions before they hatch. Don't look a gift lion in the mouth. A lion in the hand is worth two in the bush. All sorts of things that make very little sense and are frightening to picture.

I guess it's a somewhat round-about way of saying it, but what I am trying to get across here is that I am absolutely terrified of lions. And bushes, apparently.

Great comic.


Comment by Ness (not verified) Sat, 12/04/2010 - 20:45


Just an addition...

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 12/22/2010 - 03:55

How much wood could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck Garies?

Somewhere over the Garies way up high.

My friend the witch doctor told me what to Garies.

Right about now, the funk soul Garies.

When a problem comes along you must Garies.

Hey Mr. DJ come on the replay, hey Mr. DJ won't you Garies.

Super-cali-fra-ja-lis-tic-es-pia-li-do-cious, even though the thought of it is actually quite Garies.

Oh dear god...

Comment by Skitl (not verified) Thu, 04/21/2011 - 06:18

Garies in in the eye of the Garies... creepiest thing of all time...