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Tue, 12/09/2008 - 03:44 by Ananth in response to he only likes fake coffee

Coffee is one of those grown-up things I never acquired a taste for. I like tea, and hot chocolate, and chai, and if you put a super sweet Starbucks coffee in front of me there's a 50/50 chance I'll like it, but when it comes to real, manly, black coffee, I have to bow my head to Yuko. She and her roommates like their coffee hard (well, compared to me) ... Yuko drinks hers with milk and a little bit of sugar, John puts in a lot of sugar and some chocolate syrup, and Conrad just drinks it black. There's a hierarchy there, and Conrad is at the top and I am at the bottom. Coffee is just too bitter for me ... but it smells great. I love standing in the aisle at the grocery store so I can inhale, and the smell of fresh coffee in the morning is something I'm pretty fond of. I just can't abide drinking it ... Yuko has tried and tried again, but the reality is that if the coffee is even a little strong, my face scrunches up in distaste. If it's especially strong I'll get a headache, which is kind of strange. My lame lineup up of palatable coffee or coffee-styled products from Starbucks: 

Vanilla Frappucino
Iced Chai Latte
Caramel Machiatto

That's pretty much it. When winter rolls around I drink hot chocolate when everyone else has tea. We recently bought a bottle of hazelnut syrup, which tastes so good in the hot chocolate. In fact, I think I'll go make some now ... 



Comment by Goodness (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 04:53

Tea Drinkers of the world unite against the evil that is coffee! And the small peddlers of their mud-like brew! Seriously, my friends are always trying to make me try coffee too, I feel your pain. A friend of mine is 5'2", female, and a bit of a princess and she drinks stronger stuff than me.

coffee twins

Comment by Rae (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 04:53

Except I'm an 18 year old girl. Coffee smells great but tastes awful. Even the Starbucks Caramel Machiatto tastes really sort of...burnt to me? But who needs coffee when you've got tea! Mmm, London Fog.


Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 04:57

Actually Ananth, I think you saw my coffee-peddling friend at A-Kon 08. I was the Wolfwood-dressed nerd who kept hanging around Mookie's table.

 Hahaha, I think I remember!

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:45

 Hahaha, I think I remember!


Comment by Goodness (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 17:47

Well, You did take a picture of us. I had that huge cardboard cross? Yes, the coffee peddler was the girl with my autograph book. Also, Whooo, vague remembrance!


Comment by Goodness (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 04:58

Forgot to type my name on my last comment XD. Well, Goodness was the annoying guy from A-kon.

i hear you

Comment by Kal (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 05:16

nothing i love more then hot coco with just a lil but of powdered coco. most tea's are to bitter for me i like them with honey and surger. i love my chocolate though i eat it like the stronger stuff. like german chocolate truffle mmmmmmmm

 Oh man, I have to slather

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:45

 Oh man, I have to slather honey into my tea ... it's the only way. Constant Comment is my tea of choice, I think. 

mmm... chocolate!

Comment by Cal Gore (not verified) Sat, 01/03/2009 - 01:24

mmm... truffle ^^


Comment by D r 3 w (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 05:50

Don't get me wrong, I can put away some tea, but when it comes to coffee...

...Let me put it this way: My friends have talked about holding an intervention for me. And they were only joking a little bit.

I drink coffee like... like... like you breathe air. And mine's rough. I make it *strong*. Like, a normal pot of coffee for me is comparable to a 12-cup pot of expresso.

...And I drink it black. I mean, BLACK. Like, you can't see the bottom of my mug if you're wearing polarized shades, y'know?

What's really good is when you have like, half a pot left over from the day before, so you pour that *back* into the coffee pot and make *new* coffee out of it... then you end up with stuff that can bend a spoon. =D That stuff, I drink sparingly... Three cups of that will have you jittery the rest of the day.

 HAH! Sounds like Conrad!

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:46

 HAH! Sounds like Conrad! He is our heavy coffee drinker/caffeinator. 


Comment by Decad (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 06:02

Yeah coffee is one of those grown up things I never acquired a taste for either. Like being responsible and whatnot lol

 Ahaha XD

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:47

 Ahaha XD

I should do stand up

Comment by Decad (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 17:25

You seem to laugh at a lot of my comments. All I need now is a brick wall, a mic, a spotlight and some people to throw fruit at me and I'm all set for a comedy show

I'm a huge coffee drinker...

Comment by Jeremy (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 06:13

...not just in that I am huge, and I drink coffee. I'm not exclusively a coffee drinker, though, which is something some find strange; apparently, you're supposed to pick one side or the other, and if you like coffee, you're not allowed to drink tea. Or hot chocolate.

So, I guess I'm some kind of beverage outlaw or something. Groovy. *puts on shades*

Never heard that rule before...

Comment by Brian (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:38

Can't have coffee and tea? I dunno man, most coffee drinkers I know are able to recommend a wide variety of some pretty good teas. And vice-versa as well.
I think you're just making stuff up to try and sound cool >_>

I am not going to tell you

Comment by Emily (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 07:01

I am not going to tell you my beverage choices. I am just here to tell you how much I love "Coffee or Whatever"

Coffee Strategy

Comment by SlothMold (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 07:05

I had always hated coffee, but I started drinking it (with 12 packs of sugar and lots of cream) when I got too poor for fancier drinks. Within 2 months, the ecstasy of caffeine running through my veins had me drinking the stuff black.

 I hear this is the way to

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:50

 I hear this is the way to do it ... do whatever you can to make it palatable until you get used to the real thing. 

Amen! Love the smell, can't

Comment by Chaemera (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 07:42

Amen! Love the smell, can't stand the flavor because of the bitterness. About the only coffee-product I actually enjoy are those weird frozen-latte-with-cream-and-flavors concoctions that some coffeeshops have.

Chai's much better. :D

Man, I fall higher in the

Comment by Yenian (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 08:20

Man, I fall higher in the hierarchy than I figured.

No one can beat Conrad on amount of coffee consumed though.

I'm so with that. I like the

Comment by Jaroneko (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 08:25

I'm so with that. I like the aroma of coffee, but in the 'regular' form it's way too condensed. It needs room to breathe... :P Oh and don't even mention the espressos and other super strong coffees. I used to live next door to a coffee roastery and absolutely adored the smell of freshly roasted coffee filling my home most evenings. ^^

On the subject of cocoa, have you tried chili cocoa? Lovely! ^^
That and green or white teas are my mainstay of hot drinks.

Meh.. I haven't drank coffee

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:12

Meh.. I haven't drank coffee for a while.. the thought that it takes away my calcium makes me scared of it .__. I don't want to be shorter than I am now D: Tea is good! You should try Barley Tea! Its naturally sweet and its good hot and cold! :D

Hm... Coffee...

Comment by macfluffers (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:36

I don't know what I think about coffee to be honest. I think the taste isn't half bad, but I still like it light and sweet.

I took a trip to Romania two years ago, and the church I was living in for the week gave us coffee every morning, but no milk. (They did give us honey and sugar.) Over there, all the milk is used for cheese and other food products.

When all is said and done, tea is better than coffee, despite its relative unpopularity in the US. The caffeine delivery is slower, so you don't crash, and many teas have health benefits you could only get from coffee if you added a handful of Flintstones vitamins instead of sugar.

Even so, I don't like traditional Chinese herbal-medicinal tea; the stuff is supposed to be taken without anything added, and frankly, it's pretty bland and a little sour. I actually like bitter foods like dark chocolate, but I couldn't get myself to drink more than one cup. I'll stick to jasmine and oolong, thank you.


PS-By the way, when I was in China this past summer, we took a trip to a foot massage service. While I didn't like the massage (they nearly gave me bruises because they would only rub the bone...), it was interesting that our feet were soaked in special tea. It wasn't for drinking (before or after our feet were in it), but made purely for soaking in. I just thought I'd mention that, since I was thinking about Chinese tea...

 Man, you're making me want

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:55

 Man, you're making me want some tea ... interesting stories about Romania and China, thank you!

Hawt Chocolate!!

Comment by Jamie (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 09:47

I so heart the hot chocolate. And that crazy hot chocolate maker magnet spinny thing you guys have is UH MAY ZING!

uh wha?

Comment by Decad (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 19:51

You mean those hot plates with an internal magnet thats spun in a circle with another magnet than you put in the beaker acting as a stirring tool for when your heating chemicals/biological stuff?

You get those all over the world. Most labs have at least one, even if its fourty years old and covered in grime and is probably a severe health hazard to everyone in the aforementioned lab.

I tried coffee for a while

Comment by GraveDigger_Monkey (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 10:14

I tried coffee for a while at work. I just couldn't really stand it lol. I did find something that was good to do once. I put a whole thing of chocolate milk in a large cup and then the coffee. After that like three squirts of the coffee chocolate. I barelly got a coffee take to it. but I think i barely got coffee. So now a days my morning drink it a monster engery drink lol. it works to the same extent i guess, but it tastes like green apple and has no after taste. so it's my choice lol.

Oh Starbucks...

Comment by Rose (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 10:16

You know those people who have a ridiculously long Starbucks drink? Yeah. That's me. So you'll get an iced chai and I'll get...

A grande three pump white mocha soy extra foamy refresh tea misto.


I lead a sad existence.

I also drink coffee black. if you think that's bad, when I used to work the espresso bars I would have straight espresso.

And now I only have coffee twice a day (when I worked at starbucks I had a coffee or tea up to five times a day) -tear-

I sat reading this with a

Comment by OrcishIncubus (not verified) Wed, 12/10/2008 - 04:18

I sat reading this with a o_o face... and progressively went to a O_O...

Wow... the only times I've ever been able to force myself to drink coffee black is when I NEED the caffeine and there is either no milk or sugar or I can't be bothered making it drinkable, and I just chug it like I'm on Fear Factor... euurgh... hate the taste of black coffee...

Hahahah, i think it's really

Comment by Intrepide (not verified) Mon, 12/22/2008 - 15:56

Hahahah, i think it's really weird those starbucks names have to be so incredibly long. The Netherlands only have one starbucks up to now I think, but no doubt we'll be overtaken. I like it though, had some starbucks in the UK and Berlin. I like it all actually, tea, coffee, hot chocolat, hmmmmm, warm beverages :D


Comment by Viga (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 10:27

I have this same situation with my guy about coffee. He hates it a lot. I like to put in a crapload of sugar and cream myself. Unless I get a flavored coffee. Then I'll just add a lot of sugar.

Oh the joys of serving people coffee

Comment by Guamish (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:00

I can understand that depending on the roast and the type of coffee it can be a harsh to pleasant experience. I worked 4 years at the Sbux and 3 years at Peet's coffee and tea. Coffee is easier if you get the lesser of the bitter varieties. you might want to go for an African blend they tend to be less harsh and more of a citrus note. After all those years I found tea to be more exciting. my last job was at peet's and I was usually raiding the loose leaf tea. man that was a great perk. If you look around you might find a good coffee with a smooth finish. the name eludes me now.. but there was a type we sold at Peet's once a year that was amazing. no BSing the thing tasted like it was mixed with berries. a Tanzanian pea berry I think. Anyway all this coffee knowledge still serves me well :) but tea man... Definitely the way to go.. mmmm Genmaicha, scottish breakfast, or a good earl grey... without lavender, god I hate lavender.

hot chocolate

Comment by guamish (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:05

2 parts chocolate
1 part white chocolate
1 part hazelnut syrup
frothy steamed milk

especially if you dunk banana nut bread in it. 4am opening ritual when I pulled that shift

 Man, that sounds amazing.

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:26

 Man, that sounds amazing. I'll try it!


Comment by Brian (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:34

My coffee experiences started off pretty sweet.. about half the cup was sugar and cream :p
Then, as time went on, I cut back little by little, until I was able to drink the good stuff black. Now I just drink whatever coffee I can get with sometimes a bit of sugar if it's there, black if it's not.

But caramel machiatto is a friggen tasty drink.

ahh, yes

Comment by Kelsey (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:50

I was like that for a long time. Then a coffeeshop opened up in my college library with $1 self-serve coffee and I retrained myself. It involved a lot of sugar, a lot of milk, and flavored coffee. Now I can drink weaker coffee black if need be...

*Bows before Conrad's might*

Comment by cacodaemonia (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 11:51

I have to admit, I hated coffee until I lived in Japan. With as much down time as I had in my job, I was falling asleep at my desk all the time. I started drinking coffee out of desperation. Eventually we negotiated a truce, and now we're thick as thieves. >:]

Back in the day...

Comment by Shawn Handyside (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 12:02

I remember when I used to make fun of people who had coffee orders that were like 20 words long. Now I order this several times a week:

Venti Peppermint Mocha Chip Frappachino No Whip With A Shot Of Espresso

Hrm Coffee

Comment by Covenant (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 12:55

I was never one for. Prefering the carbonated means of getting the caffeen injection... then time wore on and I discovered coffee. I hated the taste but it sure got me goin.

Eventually got round to the discovery of Espresso (wife calls it expresso).

Redbull,Rawkstar and the other drinks would give me crashes. 2 shots of straigth Espresso and I would be rocking the whole day through with no crashes... Would kick this caffeen powered body into high gear no matter how little sleep I got the night before.

To bad its costly. But Coffee wins in the Caffeen Powered Human contest.

Tea drinkers of the world, unite!

Comment by Elizabeth B (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 13:14

Hey, Ananth. Don't think of it as a hierarchy, think of it as a spectrum, with tea at one end and coffee at the other. Who cares if Conrad's at the coffee end? You can hang out with me and the rest of us at the tea end. ;) Frankly, I can't stand the flavor of coffee. If it's in a dessert and it's a really faint flavor, I'll eat the dessert, but I refuse to drink the stuff. Coffee ice cream, yuck. But you're right; the freshly ground beans smell amazing.

As for tea, I love chai (I'm drinking my breakfast chai right now), green tea, white tea, English Breakfast... mmmm. Have you tried loose tea? It's like night and day compared to the bagged stuff. I highly prefer it now.

Hot chocolate also rocks, of course. ^_^ Starbuck's makes better hot chocolate than Peet's, though I have to tell them to tone down the syrups a bit. Also you have to stir it halfway through or else you get chocolate sludge in the bottom of your mug. (The way some people, like my husband, drink coffee, they get sludge in the bottom of their mugs anyway. But I digress.)

... And there I just splashed tea on my keyboard. AUGH. Fortunately not much.

He only cares because I

Comment by conrad Wed, 12/10/2008 - 13:06

He only cares because I remind him of his feeble, coffee-less existance every single god damn day. >:)

Awww, Conrad

Comment by Elizabeth B (not verified) Wed, 12/10/2008 - 15:01

That's mean. Mean mean mean.



Comment by conrad Wed, 12/10/2008 - 17:54

That's not true! I'm a caffeine pluralist! I drink tea and also energy drinks! Both in excess!

Oh. Damn.

Comment by Elizabeth B (not verified) Thu, 12/11/2008 - 02:46

There goes that line of attack.


Coffee is known to induce

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 13:25

Coffee is known to induce headaches in some people. It's pretty common, actually.


Comment by Lel (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 13:29

Have you ever tried the Good Earth teas? Their original sweet and spicy red tea is so delicious and flavorful, I can drink it plain.

My "homepage" sucks and I agree with you completely Ananth

Comment by Zelkova (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 16:25

I myself don't do too well with coffee. I love the smell and everything, but the taste is... something else.
Tea, I drink daily
Hot chocolate, I drink daily in winter and fall.
Coffe, I never drink
Now, some of the Starbucks drinks I will have. The Vanilla Frappucino and Caramel Machiatto I've had and can drink. I've never tried the Iced Chai Latte though.
Do you reccommend it?


Comment by John Kelly (not verified) Tue, 12/09/2008 - 16:26

Conrad may consume the largest volume of coffee out of our house, but I must aver that I make the strongest pot. I rue the days I don't make coffee, as it costs me another in my series of attempts to glean, by experiment, the secret to the ultimate percolated Bella-coffee variant, a coffee so dense light cannot escape its surface.

You're RIGHT. That coffee is

Comment by Ananth Tue, 12/09/2008 - 17:10

You're RIGHT. That coffee is blacker than a black hole, but so strong that only the smell can escape.