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Seriously

Seriously

Tue, 02/17/2009 - 01:44 by Ananth in response to incorrect bread anatomy

Everyone hears something during childhood that follows them far later into life than is strictly reasonable, and that something is always pretty embarrassing when it comes out. This was obviously one of mine (until a week ago) ... another one was mispronouncing "h'or doeuvres" (I used to pronounce it "hors devors"). A friend's father told her that the hazard lights switch in the car was the eject seat, and she believed it until she was in high school. I grew up eating my french toast with ketchup, and I didn't realize that was unusual till high school either. 

(Try the french toast with ketchup, by the way. Yuko and Conrad will attest, it is surprisingly good.)

(Also, I wanted to link to The Meek, a gorgeously drawn and lushly colored comic by Yuko's pal Der-shing Helmer - you've got to see it to believe it. Just, ah, don't see it at work! It may be NSFW, depending on where you are.)

Comments

John Kelly and the Mystery

Comment by Ananth Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:22
John Kelly and the Mystery of the Tri-Corner Bread

herk...

Comment by John Kelly (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 00:12

Move over, Babysitter's Club!

 MORE LIKE HARDY BOYS

Comment by Ananth Wed, 02/18/2009 - 15:13

 MORE LIKE HARDY BOYS AMIRITE??

My parents, being the

Comment by Rai (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 09:52

My parents, being the conscientious protectors of the family that they were, would not start the car until everyone had their seat belts on. This started when I was old enough to buckle my own belt.

Well, it was so ingrained to me that if they forgot to check and started the car without my belt buckled, I would panic and demand that they stop, because I was convinced something would malfunction in the car if even one of us didn't have our seat belt on.

same here

Comment by JB (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 15:31

In a similar fashion, my parents convinced me a car's engine wouldn't start up unless everyone had their seatbelt on. This lead to me thinking the carseat had some kind of weight sensor...

"Why are you buckling in your backpack?"
"So the ignition switch will work."
"Umm."

Otherwise how would it know if a particular belt had to be buckled? .... yeah.

New Car Airbags

Comment by Joe (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 16:18

Actually, in some newer cars, the front passenger's seat has a pressure pad that tells the car to turn the passenger's air bag on.
I know because my sister has a habit of turning hers off if her passenger is bugging her.

Told my neice that the car

Comment by Saijoy (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 10:03

Told my neice that the car would blow up if it started without her seatbelt. It was the result of her asking why someone's car blew up in a tv show. After that, she wouldn't let the car start without all the seatbelts on or she would freak out.

Until now...

Comment by Dr3w (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 10:46

You know, I always called it the Heel. I never knew it was possible to call it anything other THAN the heel.

...until now...

From this day forward, the endpieces of the bread will forever be known to me as the Bread Butt(s).

Oh, yeah. XD

Bread butt?

Comment by MrGBH (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:00

In England (At least Essex and London) it's called the crust. Okay, I know that's what the edges of every slice is called, but we use the same name for the ends too (Since that's what it's made of).

All Hail the Mighty Crust

Comment by Matt (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 19:11

That's how everyone in my family says it, and I live in New York. Both "heel" and "breat butt" make bread sound unappetizing for me; I'm not eating a piece of a foot or someone's rear end.

Crusty crusts

Comment by Naktarr (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 05:40

In Australia we call it the Crust too, but my dad worked in the bread delivery section of a big bakery company when I was a kid and I'm sure the professionals call it the heel.

Um, I'm a bit confused - cinnamon bread? We don't have that here, except for Hot Cross Buns and Fruit Loaf.
French toast is not a 'loaf' because its plain bread fried in egg and has the cinnamon added - well the real stuff. Having the cinnamon baked in seems to kind of weaken the 'french' link - However I know that many people here add tomato sauce to french toast - we don't have ketchup.
Personally, I don't like cinnamon - its not something I was really given as a standard spice for anything when I was growing up - I used to stick Big Red wrappers to my forehead and leave it there for the longest when I was in highschool though, so it has its appeals XD

Cinnamon Bread

Comment by Ellie (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 20:01

Cinnamon bread is a type of sweet breakfast bread that has swirls of cinnamon in it. While it does make some killer French toast, it can be eaten plain, or toasted.

BREAD

Comment by Phil (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:03

Does that mean that the other end is the bread head??

No dude, it's the bread

Comment by Conrad, who didn't feel like logging in (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 09:54

No dude, it's the bread crotch

Haha. I used to call hair

Comment by Tea (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:22

Haha. I used to call hair elastics "doodles". My friends in high school found that pretty funny.

Never really called it anything

Comment by jGolrathF (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:38

We never called it anything other than "the end pieces".

French toast was always devoured with ketchup in my childhood home, but that's because my mother is Dutch and made french toast by adding salt and pepper to the egg batter, as opposed to sugar (which is still weird to me).

I once got into an argument with my entire second grade class of the word geography. I thought it should be pronounced GEO-GRAPH-EE. Also when I was 6ish my mother told me that the first thing I should always do when getting in the car is to put on my belt. So to be a smart alec I pretended to have trouble putting it on and left my door open...my mother and brother didn't notice for like 3 min. so we were well down the road before the yelling began!

Delicious by any other name

Comment by Mai (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:58

French toast and ketchup!

Had this every Monday after school when I was growing up (is 25 now)

though to us it was called 'Gypsy Toast and tomato sauce'

my husband calls it 'Eggy bread' - probably the best name of the three....

Bread ass??

Comment by alexds1 (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 12:15

Whatever you call it, that part still sucks. We like to eat the loaf until only the two end parts are left, like two bookends with nothing in between :C

And thanks for the plug! You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it <3

As long as you're not

Comment by Michael M. (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 12:57

As long as you're not calling Raisin bread heels "bread butts" I think you're fine. Because nothing is more disgusting than finding bread butt droppings.

Heel vs Butt

Comment by Reb (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 14:24

I've always called the "heel" the butt. My family always has. Butt just means the end of something. Look it up! ;D

Good comic anyways <3

Other strange food combinations...

Comment by Mark (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 15:04

My dad and I really love a balogna and peanut butter sandwich. It's just delicious! No one ever believes me!

the comments are as good as the comic...

Comment by JB (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 15:47

I really enjoy how the comment section is as hilarious as the slice-of-life comic. Thanks to you, Ananth, Yuko, readers...

I always save the "bread butt" for French toast. Somehow the different sided-ness is better than a normal slice. We call it the "bread end" here which is a synonym I guess.

As for things from my childhood... hmm. My dad told all the neighborhood kids that if we didn't wear bicycle helmets, the police would burn up our bikes in the city steel refinery. This was a strangely convincing threat.

The comments are something

Comment by Ananth Tue, 02/17/2009 - 16:35

The comments are something we're all secretly very proud of ... people leave us a lot of thoughtful comments, often with their own stories or variations on the latest theme. It's cool ... I totally look forward to reading them every time we put up a new comic. 

French butt

Comment by Reb (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 22:23

We use that part to sop up the grease. Basically it's the test slice in my family

Soggy butt. <3

Here we call it the bread

Comment by WomanOfSporks (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 19:36

Here we call it the bread butt, heel, and end. Though I personally go with the cruder "ass of the bread."

When I was little we built an extra room onto the end of our house and at the time we didn't have a name for it so we called it "the new room". However, we never really did get a name so I grew up thinking that it was normal to have a "new room", and when a friend would ask I would describe to them what it was used for. I always got a response like "That's what we call our family room!". We still call it the new room.

I'm really sorry - I've just

Comment by Prite (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 20:58

I'm really sorry - I've just got to contribute!

When I was just little, my mom never called the powdered cheese you put on spaghetti "parmesan". Nope, nope; it was definitely "stinky-feet cheese"! You can probably imagine my surprise when, eating with a group of friends, I asked for the topping and everyone burst out laughing. X3

Come to think of it, my mom generally tends to name things for their properties. It took me longer to realize that "crunchies" were actually called "croutons", since waiters can usually figure that one out. I guess I'm lucky that at birth I got a person-name, rather than a description...?

The finger eater!

Comment by MonsterousMonster (not verified) Tue, 02/17/2009 - 23:15

My mother convinced us that the gas valve on the floor that turned on the fireplace was a "finger eater." We never questioned the functional purpose of the finger eater, nor did we test it. She just didn't want us playing with a gas valve.

When we were selling the house the realtor came over and saw this thing. She said "Oh you have a gas fireplace" and stuck her finger in the hole. I ran in screaming "DON'T TOUCH THE FINGER EATER!"

Phwew! That was close.

I was helping my sister

Comment by HollyWoodCarCrash (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 00:28

I was helping my sister clean the kitchen today and kept thinking about the whole "Bread Butt" Vs. "Heel" argument that you guys were talking about here on Johnny.
And I asked my sister what she called it?

She said, "The heel of course, why do you ask?"

"Well, I heard someone who just called it a 'bread butt'."

She laughed for a good minute before she proclaimed that the end of the loaf shall always be called the "bread butt" in her house.

Congratz Ananth, you inspired someone! XD rotfl

bread butts

Comment by Louis (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 02:09

We always call them "crusts". And to this day, I pronounce h'or doeuvres as "horse doovers". My dad told me it was just an easier way of saying it, as he and his seven siblings were told by their partly French mother. I still can't say it the proper way- "awderves".

Speaking of stuck phrases, when I was very young my dad gave me a sip of VB (which tastes disgusting) and told me it's beer, and adults drink it. Yuck, I said, I don't like beer then. As I grew up, he called any type of alcohol "beer" because he knew I would think it tastes digusting. I still reflexively call all drinks as beer. People around me will go nuh-uh it's spirits. Or no way man, it's just lollywater. Doesn't change my mind.

All things Spiritual

Comment by Naktarr (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 05:52

I bet those people who try and tell you its not beer turn around and proclaim 'The Southern Comfort, it is a Whisky!'
Nope, its a Liqueur - I picked that up by, shock horror, actually reading the label on the bottle ;) (and later on in bar school)

As I was growing up we called our pets by funny rhyming words we came up with over time - so our Dogs are called as a group 'The Doog-a-Boogies' and the Guinea Pigs as a group were and are called 'The Ginggie-Pigs' or just 'Ginggies'
Animals we kept in singular groups never got these weird names, nor did any of the livestock groups we had when I was a kid.

I still call my Doog's, well there you have it, heh. I'm so random it doesn't make anyone even bat an eyelid - I give all the singular pets separate nicknames too, so I own a dog I refer to as 'booby' which isn't good in public situations.

In my family we've always

Comment by Anywho (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 14:16

In my family we've always called it the "puet". Which is just Tagalog for butt.

Except in my case, whenever I've been confronted about calling it that, I've managed to convince the person doing the confronting that "puet" was the proper term. Sometimes even getting them to start calling it that.

When I was young my mother

Comment by HBK (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 20:21

When I was young my mother told me that pepperoni was sliced up giant worm.

...

When I was little I was

Comment by DarthChan (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 21:15

When I was little I was convinced that my parents had a sort of telepathic connection with the car, because by the time I could see over the side of the drivers seat (which was pretty late adding to that I was in a booster seat) I saw those strange green arrows clicking left and right. I asked my parents how the car knew which direction they wanted to go (I thought that the car was trying to help point them in the right direction), and they told me that "they told it to." I was both awed and slightly weirded out, because I was quite aware of artificial intelligence by then. As I remember, I was really scared of thinking of very personal things while in the car because I was afraid the car could read my mind and tell my parents telepathically. Seriously. I remember this. And then when I grew tall enough to sit in the front seat (once again, only a few years ago much later than everyone else) I finally realized that there was a thing they pushed up or down to make it do that. >.<
I also believed that the crust was the "burned" part of the bread. Therefore I did not eat the crust. That tells you exactly how much I appreciated bread when I was little.

Telepathic Cars

Comment by Matt (not verified) Wed, 02/18/2009 - 21:49

Hah, I was the same way (except for the mind-reading part) with cars when I was little. When I was around 6, I asked my aunt, "how does the car know which way you're going to turn before you do it?" To which she responded "I dunno" (to save the time of explaining it to me; I was very inquisitive). It absolutely BOGGLED MY MIND until I was allowed to sit in the front seat and observed my parents while they drove.

Cars really started to weird me out when they would alert my parents that they weren't wearing their seat belt, or a door was open. I might have been inquisitive, but that doesn't mean I was a smart child.

I never knew that french

Comment by shafina (not verified) Thu, 02/19/2009 - 05:49

I never knew that french toast was eaten with honey instead of ketchup till I was 15.

and I like them with ketchup better.

I never heard of it being

Comment by Sovy Kurosei (not verified) Thu, 02/19/2009 - 13:59

I never heard of it being called the breadbutt or the heal but my parents and grandparents used "breadends", "the end pieces" and "the crust".

I always threw away the crust until the price of bread shot up to $2-$4.

When I was a kid I could not

Comment by Ducky (not verified) Thu, 02/19/2009 - 22:30

When I was a kid I could not pronounce the word 'oatmeal' so I called it 'oinkmeal'. Which eventually turned into 'ointmeal'. And if I don't consciously think of saying it properly I will still say 'ointmeal'... It's a curse. You don't want to see me ask for cookies. People become very confused.

Well I eat French Toast with

Comment by CrispyFloyd (not verified) Sat, 02/21/2009 - 05:47

Well I eat French Toast with the Ketchup, and never saw anything wrong with that. However, when one is english, one tends to eat ketchup with most things.

Elbow?

Comment by Remolg (not verified) Thu, 04/09/2009 - 12:53

I've always called it the end piece. It's the piece...at the end. No illogical anatomical comparisons needed! :D

A little late, but...

Comment by Sidka (not verified) Thu, 04/23/2009 - 01:44

I always thought it was the blow up the car button, too.

Between my mom speaking two languages and me working on my third, we have both manages to ruin our grasp of the English language. I grew up thinking that "observative" was the correct word for "observant". Neither of us can get past verb tenses right the first time, either. Write become wrot (like fight and fought). Squeak becomes squoke. Throw becomes throwed. Plurals are also hard at times. "I didn't see any... mooses? Meese? ... Mos? ... Why are you laughing?"

Of course, there are stupid things that become in-jokes and you forget people outside the family don't know them. One time instead of hearing "Pass the drink, please", mom heard "The house is wrinkly." So when I proclaim that the skin condition of my home is lacking, I get weird looks from my friends.

WEird

Comment by Tiger (not verified) Mon, 05/04/2009 - 15:26

So I defiantly called a handkerchief a snot rag till someone got offended in high school....

Watch Children

Comment by Morgan (not verified) Tue, 06/16/2009 - 14:04

My father told me that there were special children who were given special watches - he was given one by his father when he was a little boy, and they called him one of the Watch Children. When I was studying for my drivers exam, I actually answered a question out loud about that.... and said oh, the watch children sign is because there are special kids in the area... with gold watches. Not the brightest bulb in the shed.

My family calls them turtles

Comment by Flora (not verified) Wed, 06/17/2009 - 17:49

My family calls them turtles

wait. then how ARE you

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Thu, 07/23/2009 - 18:19

wait. then how ARE you suppose to pronounce h'or doeuvres? i thought it was hors devors, too.

i'm currently 17. some one please save me before i have to be old and not embarrassing.

I always think it's

Comment by retro (not verified) Sun, 11/11/2012 - 11:43

I always think it's pronounced that way when I see it written. xD

It's pronounced "orderves"

Also: I call it crust.

Comment by Anonymous (not verified) Thu, 07/23/2009 - 18:19

Also: I call it crust.

Childhood phrases

Comment by Blair (not verified) Tue, 08/11/2009 - 08:48

There's a great radio show from This American Life that talks about this here and there:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=1251

it's "hors d'oeuvre"

Comment by a-hom (not verified) Fri, 08/28/2009 - 18:50

it's "hors d'oeuvre"

UK sophistication...

Comment by Lydia (not verified) Sat, 06/19/2010 - 04:20

Late post - reading through the achives and just had to put my oar in.OK, so, here in the UK we call the heel, the crust (which if you eat enough it makes your hair go curly according to my Grandad) and french toast is called eggy bread and we eat it with savories such as ketchup, bacon, brown sauce etc. In fact, I finished some about 5 minutes ago with a sausage, mushrooms and ketchup.

My mum told me that mountain goats legs are shorter on one side so they can only go one way round a mountain or they fall off - I believed it until about a year ago (I am 34) when was disabused of this notion by my husband...